06 August, 2011

Circus Envy

Who are you?:

Circus Envy; horror host, scary clown, Snicker's consumer, self-proclaimed Mama's boy and vindicator of the underdog.

1) What are the top two questions you're sick of answering- and their answers?

Who are you supposed to be, IT? For one, the character's name is Pennywise and Ray Charles could see the vast differences, baring the pointed teeth.

Do you condone recreational drug use? No, kids should not do drugs... especially mine!

2) What celebrity (that you have no ties with) would you blink out of existence if you could? Why?

Judge Judy - she's such a douche, if she were featured in a snuff film I'd consider it a comedy. Oh, and don't forget Reverend Phelps, everyone's favorite nut job.

3) If you were on Death Row, what would it be for and what would your last meal be?

Avenging abused animals or children or enforcing capital punishment on those that refuse to practice reasonable cell phone etiquette. My last meal... a Percocet smoothie with Xanex sprinkles to take the edge off.

4) Kharma/Karma - what are your thoughts on it?

I believe you reap what you sew but a good machatte is always helpful in speeding along the process.

5) What are your thoughts on conspiracy theorists?

In this day and age, I have no idea what to believe. I am as politically ambiguous as they come and hold religiously to my personally philosophy, which is basically "fuck it".

6) Would you ever go into a strip club with a sign that read '12 hot chicks and 1 ugly one' JUST to see the 'ugly one?'

Funny you should ask, they know me on a first name basis at The Clermont... a club known for it's unconventional strippers. I want to see a girl with psoriasis wrestling a live gator and the gator be the one with better skin!

Truly, I believe a person's quirks can sometimes be their greatest charm.

7) If you could only give one piece of advice on how to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse, what would it be?

Take enough Xanex blend right in. My friend Candi is always fretting about zombies, but I console her by saying "what you worried about bitch? They only eat brains."

8) Do you think you cuss entirely too much, just enough, or not enough throughout your normal day?

my day job is so frustrating and I am constantly on-call. My friends and neighbors think I suffer Tourette syndrome!

9) What's the most awkward question you can remember being asked by a fan or interviewer?

My most embarrassing moment as Circus Envy was when my fang appliance came unhinged and landed on stage with Unknown Hinson. I lunged forward to retrieve them and my friends thought I had fainted. Oh, and the time Kane Hodder and others filmed me drunkenly dry-humping everyone on the dance floor at the Scarefest VIP party. Then my friend's kid remixed it to Can't Sleep Clowns Will Eat Me and posted all over the internet. Luckily I don't blush easily... if I did you'd never see it through the clown makeup.

10) What song would you consider to be your absolute guiltiest pleasure?

I still own a Debbie Gibson CD... yeah, that's pretty embarrassing.

My guiltiest pleasure would be watching home decorating shows when I go to my Mom's house to visit. I'm like another Norman Bates just waiting to happen!

11) Are there any foods that you would choose to starve rather than eat?

Tofurkey - I am open to meat alternatives but this is one that needs to go back to the drawing board. Even the name is awkward and somehow makes me want to take a hot shower. It tastes like a cross between soggy cardboard and seasoned scrotum. I am also not a fan of pork. I was fanatical about Miss Piggy growing up and stopped eating it around age seven. I refuse to participate in anything pertaining to pork unless it used in context as a verb. I would use this in a sentence but I think you got the idea. lol.

Shameless self promotion/shout outs/any last words:

Check out circusenvy.com and buy yourself some Circus Envy merchandise! Oh, and fuck you Chuck De Clown! I'm top dog in this circus! (just kidding buddy!)

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